Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, so please excuse me if all my reviews through the month of December are holiday related. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to review The Night Before Christmas or A Christmas Carol. I will still provide you with the dark, humorous books that I love to read. Consider that my Christmas present to you.
I never read any of Christopher Moore’s other novels, but I’m a sucker for a fun title and a silly cover. In The Stupidest Angel, Moore has combined characters from his other novels with the residents of Pine Cove, with the new addition of a dimwitted Angel. Don’t worry though, this book isn’t a sequel, you don’t have to read any of Moore’s previous novels to enjoy this one. but you might want to read them after.
The story starts with Lena and her husband Dale.
In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future, past, and present, would bring about in him a change to generosity, kindness, and a general warmth toward his fellow man. But this is not that kind of Christmas story, so here in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That’s the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.
SPOILER ALERT: Lena is the one to dispatch Dale with a shovel. Dale, at the time of the shoveling, was dress up as Santa. Their “argument” is witnessed by seven-year-old Josh Barker, who immediately becomes heartbroken over the fact someone killed “Santa.” But Christmas is not lost, Josh is visited by the Archangel Raziel, whose mission it is to go to earth and find a child who has made a Christmas wish that can only be granted by divine intervention, and do something for him. And of course, Josh wants Santa to come back from the dead. Raziel’s botched job of raising the dead takes the story is some crazy directions.
The book has everything your holidays need. There’s a pot smoking sheriff, Theo Crowe and his psychotic wife, Molly (she’s off her meds.) who runs around naked with a sword. Christmas isn’t Christmas till someone is running around naked with a broad sword. There’s a zombie army, lead by Santa, who really want to go to IKEA. Tombstone tomfoolery. Profanity, lots of profanity. A talking fruit bat. Oh, and of course, the miracle of Christmas.
The book was a fairly quick read. It might not be for the faint of heart or the scrooges. But I quite enjoyed its vulgar profanity and sarcasm. I mean, that’s my type of Christmas.
“Merry Christmas, you doomed sons’ a bitches!” said Santa.