Book Review: Lost and Found by Oliver Jeffers

bookOkay, so there are many, many, many reasons why you should own this book. But in all honesty, the only real reason is the illustrations. I mean, look at that penguin! Look at it!!! How freaking cute is that thing?! And they’re floating around in an umbrella! AN UMBRELLA!!!

I first encountered this book in a cute little bookstore in our mall, in Brazil. Needless to say, the whole book was in Portuguese. But I didn’t care, the cover had me hooked. So I flipped through the pages, absolutely mesmerized by the illustrations. I wanted the book right then and there, but decided against it because of my inability to read it. Luckily for me though, my sister decided to send me a copy in English! Best. Day Ever.

What would you do if you opened your door one day and found a sad looking penguin? Well that’s where our story begins. The boy assumes the penguin must be lost and tries to find out where the penguin belongs. He asked around, but no one seemed to be missing a penguin. Then he discovers the penguin’s home is at the South Pole. So together they sail off in a rowboat to the South Pole. They spend many days and nights on the ocean, bonding over the stories the boy tells.

When they finally reach the South Pole and drop off the penguin, he still seems sad for some reason. I wonder what could be wrong. Does the story end there? Guess you have to read it for yourself!

Short review. Deal with it. It’s an adorable kids book.

Some birds are like that.

5/5 stars

~Eddie

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Book Review: Beauty and the Bookworm by Nick Pageant

bookOk, so I’m going to keep using the World Cup as an excuse and you all are going to just have to deal with it. I wasn’t a huge soccer fan before this, but there’s something about being in Brazil while it’s going on that changes a person. Anyways, I needed a nice short read that I could finish between matches; and I obviously found one or you wouldn’t be reading this review about it.

Mason Leery is a cardigan-loving, geeky librarian who lives his life through his m/m romance novels. I will admit it was really hard to relate to a bookworm, wink*. The polar opposite of Mason, Shane Beaumont, is a physical trainer and masseuse. Shane is also beautiful, hint the title. Our two MC’s meet one fateful day at the park where Mason is reading and Shane is jogging. Shane trips over Mason’s feet and ends up getting his shorts caught in a tree, exposing his green jock strap. When Shane bends over to pull up his shorts, Mason gets flashed, and it’s love at first sight, wink*.

Thus begins the wonderful romance/relationship of our two MC’s and you immediately fall in love with them. I especially liked Shane’s attempts to impress Mason and fulfill his sexual fantasies. I mean, he has to compete with a ton of romance novels. Don’t worry though, there is conflict involved, this story isn’t completely unbelievably happy. I won’t give it away which secondary character is responsible for it though!

Your list of suspects who could possibly jeopardize our happy couple are:

1)      Mason’s crazy lesbian, biker grandma that he lives with. She’s definitely over-the-top! And let’s be honest, if your granny’s in a biker gang, there’s bound to be trouble.

2)      Shane’s twin brother Shawn. Who’s the good twin and who’s the evil twin? Bum bum bummmm.

3)      Mason’s BFF Twyla. She’s sassy and clingy and oh-so pregnant. Yay hormones!

4)      Mona Lisa. Not the painting, but an eco-crazy lady!

All in all, it’s a fun quick read. It’s full of laughs and super fun characters, although Twyla does get super annoying. You will totally fall in love with Mason and Shane. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get myself mentally prepared for the knock-out rounds that start this weekend!

This story has dicks, lots and lots of dicks. Oh, so now you’re interested? I should have put dick in the first line.

5/5 stars

~Eddie

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*Wasn’t available on B&N

Book Review: All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John

10155216_10101700702994575_5550919188911807228_nLet me start off by saying that I’ve been rather busy down here in Brazil getting a job (not that any of you care that I’m a freeloader that reads books…nor should you…I’m just saying), so I haven’t had time to finish the romance novel I’ve been reading. However, as luck would have it, I received a cheer-me-up gift in the mail from a friend back in the states. In this thoughtful and wonderful care-package was this book. And flipping through it’s pages not only brightened my day, but re-sparked my creative juices. All My Friends Are Dead  has taken it’s rightful place on my bookshelf and in my heart.

I guess the easiest way to describe the book is that it’s like Everybody Poops only funnier and more morbid, like Everybody Dies.  From people, to trees, to mimes, everyone meets the inevitable. This books helps capture their thoughts on the matter. My personal favorite was the cassette tape, I mean, most people still remember what it was like to actually make a mixed tape. Actually, maybe the pirate is my favorite…yarr…or maybe the yetiThey’re all pretty awesome.

So if you need a pick-me-up, then pick-up (see what I did there) this book! The chuckles it brings are definitely worth the price. I think it’s only like $.99, so totally worth a buck.  It will make a nice edition to your kindle and you can read it in between the romance novels you’ve been reading that we recommended. I’m rambling and using a lot of words to make this review seem longer. You try coming up with a lesson plan to teach English to two Brazilian kids and see how much time you have in a week. I digress…  Also, there is another book too, called All My Friends Are Still Dead, which is an amazing sequel! You can check them both out at the link below:

No More Friends

I’ve already made two children cry today!

5/5 stars

~Eddie

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Book Review: Not Just Friends by Jay Northcote

20626492I mean seriously, based off the cover alone…they are clearly more than friends. Remember than one time in college when you and your best friend got drunk and decided to experiment? Well, that’s basically the plot of Not Just Friends. Luckily, Northcote added more to the story and I really enjoyed the journey of the MC’s (although it was primarily just sweet with little surprises). I was also a huge fan of Friends and there’s a big Ross and Rachel dynamic, so I think that’s also why I loved the book.

So we start off with Lewis arriving at his new college in Bristol (the story takes place in London btw) and he moves into his new flat. He meets three of his new roommates right away, Dean, Rob, and Andreas. Don’t worry, you don’t need to remember their names right now, although they are great additions to the story. Anyways, they’re all sitting around eating pizza and getting to know each other and they are all fairly nice guys. Lewis is pretty excited that they are all hitting it off because it’s his first time away from home and he left behind his best mate (remember, London) Paul and his now ex-girlfriend. He is single and ready to mingle.

2 hours later because his mom’s car broke down, the 5th flatmate, Max arrives. There is something about Max that Lewis is immediately drawn to. Is it his slender frame? Dyed blonde hair? Earrings? His beautiful pale green eyes? His arse? No…it must be friendship! Well, it turns out, Max is gay, totally out and proud. Then maybe it isn’t friendship Lewis feeling…

The more time they spend together, the more Lewis finds himself attracted to Max. This makes him question everything! Like his relationship with Paul, and his relationship with his ex. To try and diffuse his feelings for Max, Lewis starts talking to one of the girls in his class, Amanda. They decide to have study sessions together and let it go from there. At the same time, Max is hooking up with someone from the LGBT group, Bruno.

Lewis is of course jealous of Max’s new relationship and after a horrible date with Amanda, he admits that he might be gay. He also confesses his feeling towards Max. Amanda is super supportive, and gives him advice while staying a good friend. As luck would have it, Max and Bruno break up because Bruno misunderstood what exclusive meant. So Lewis finds himself comforting Max and thanks to a few drinks, one thing lead to another and badda bing badda boom!

Now what? Do they forget that ever happened? Do they stay just friends? So, like I said, there are no surprises…picture Lewis now as Ross and Max as Rachel. Will they? Won’t they? Were they on a break? So many questions that need answered! If you need some angst-light reading, then this book is for you. Especially if you loved the Ross/Rachel tension in Friends. Sorry, Friends is very popular here in Brazil, and I just watched like a mini marathon of it, so it’s fresh on my mind.

When I was at sixth form college, I used to play for blowjobs with one of my mates, but I’m assuming you’re not down for that.

5/5 stars

~Eddie

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Book Review: The Unwanted by Jeffrey Ricker

5199022I really enjoyed The Unwanted, it was basically the gayified version of Percy Jackson. Despite some major clichés that occur, I found myself engrossed in the story; but then again, I’m a sucker for mythology. This is an unusually short review for me, but I didn’t want to have to write “SPOILER ALERT” over and over. If you want to know more about the story, you’re going to just have to read it.

The story starts off with Jamie, a skinny, short, gay sixteen year old. He is the only out kid in his high school, is constantly being bullied. His main bully is Billy, the school jock, who torments him every chance he gets. But today, Billy steps up his game and punches Jamie in the face. So Jamie leaves the school without permission and heads home. Waiting for him when he gets home is his mom, which is a surprise considering she’s supposed to be dead. Oh and there’s also a winged horse in the backyard.

Well it turns out that his dad had lied to him and his mom was never dead, she’s just an Amazon. Yes, Amazon, as in the mythological warrior women. His mom explains, that since he was born a boy, he had been left with his dad to raise. But now she has returned because there’s a crisis at hand and a prophecy says Jamie might be the only one that can save her people.

So, Jamie and his best friend Sarah band together with Billy to help his mother. Why Billy, you ask. Well, this is m m romance and foes becoming lovers should have been a given. Will they be able to save an ancient race? You might have doubts, but don’t worry, our little Jamie does acquire some skills and becomes a semi-good fighter. He didn’t just leave everything to his brute, Billy.

Considering the story is about the Amazons, you’d expect the action of the story to be the primary focus, especially with things like spiteful gods and prophecies. But the story is pretty low-key. It still moves along though, Jamie had a great narrative and a wonderful sense of humor. We all know how much I love a wicked sense of humor. Plus, it was obvious the story was just building towards something epic. And luckily, Ricker didn’t disappoint! I was struggling on who to trust through the book, and Ricker hit me with some major reveals at the end that I didn’t see coming.

Like I said, there weren’t a whole lot of epic fights, but that didn’t bother me. I liked the book regardless. And even with the “chosen one to save” prophecy that I’m familiar with (I read comic books), I found The Unwanted delightful. Somehow, the clichés just worked for me in this one. Plus the ending was perfectly bittersweet. I hate not giving you all more, but

Like putting handcuffs on an Amazon.

5/5 stars

~Eddie

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Book Review: Legally Wed by Rick R. Reed

5199022Remember that one movie, The Wedding Planner? And remember how you wished all the main characters were men? Well, Legally Wed gives you what you want.

Duncan is a thirty-seven-year-old elementary school teacher who desperately wants to get married to the person he loves, have kids, and live happily ever after. So when same sex marriage becomes legal in Washington (the state not D.C.), he proposes to his boyfriend of three years, Tucker. But instead of saying yes, Tucker refuses and also dumps Duncan. Womp womp. Heartbroken and drunk, Duncan decides that in order to be happy and married, he needs a woman. I mean, that’s the logical choice when you’re drunk. The next obvious thing to do once he has figured this out, was to post a Craigslist ad for a Gay Man Seeking a Woman to Marry.

Enter Marilyn. Despite numerous replies to his ad, Marilyn stands out. She’s unique, funny, and outspoken, so Duncan decides to meet her. After meeting at a coffee shop, they soon realize that they have a lot in common. They soon hit it off, spending lots of time together at gay bars, restaurants, and their apartments. Marilyn had always been a fan of gay men and m/m romance, so she was excited to have found Duncan. And one fateful night after a few drinks, because the best decisions are made when you are drunk (this is one of the lessons I learned from the book), she proposes to Duncan and he accepts. After working out some details, Marilyn suggests a professional wedding planner.

Enter third wheel, Peter Dalrymple. Peter, is a tall, hot, gay, muscular bear. Duncan is immediately attracted to Peter, and the feeling is mutual. However, because this is m/m romance, they can’t act upon their urges because of Peter’s professionalism and Duncan’s morals. But seriously though…he’s marrying a woman because he was drunk and heartbroken…I think she’ll understand if he just returns to men. Anyways, just before the wedding, Duncan meets with Peter alone. Well, once alone, Peter gives in, grabs Duncan and kisses him. Despite kinda liking it, Duncan pushes Peter away and fires him.

Duncan’s sister, Scout, who is aware of his thing for Peter, calls him to inform him of a family tragedy. So Duncan heads off to Pennsylvania without even notifying Marilyn. This marriage is definitely doomed. While in Pennsylvania, Scout yells at Duncan, calling him a fool for marrying Marilyn and ruining his chances of being truly happy. His sister, who has always been supportive, gets through to him. Once home, he finds a distraught Marilyn and he realizes that he didn’t even think of her while he was away. Duncan calls off the engagement with the understanding that he only loved Marilyn as a friend. Amazing the things we realize when we’re sober.

Realizing what he really wanted, Duncan contacts Peter. They are now free to act on their attraction to each other. Will they live happily ever after? Will Duncan get the family he desires? And what of Marilyn? Will she get her happy ending? Read the book to find out!

I enjoyed the story immensely. But then I also really liked The Wedding Planner, so it was going to be a given. There were a few places where the story drags but nothing major. The secondary characters were excellent and aided to the overall humor of the story. Big step up from the crap I read last week!

And that’s not even counting the disasters–the one-time only dates with lunatics, egomaniacs, and Mama’s boys.

5/5 stars

~Eddie

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Book Review: Clockwork Tangerine by Rhys Ford

5199022Carnival happened, so I had to read something short. I picked this book because of the title, I mean…it’s a fun title. Although the book was short, the story was still wonderfully developed. I will admit that by the end, I was wishing for several more chapters.

Set in an alternate reality of San Francisco, Marcus Stenhill, the Viscount of Westwood is running an errand for his grandma in Little Orient. The woman has a particular jasmine tea that he has to search for because he loves his granny. While he’s looking for the tea, he comes across a group of 4 guys beating on a man who’s on the ground. Marcus’s father, who sounds a lot like Uncle Ben from Spiderman, had always told him: A man with power protects and serves those lesser than he is. It is only the weak who use their power to do harm. So Marcus rescues the beaten man.

Surprise!!! The man Marcus rescues is Robin Harris, the creator of a mechanical contraption called a Skitter that killed his father. Though Robin’s involvement in the death of Marcus’ father was indirect, he still played a part in it. Marcus should hate him, but this is m/m romance and he desires the man instead. And since this is m/m romance, their relationship has many obstacles to overcome before it can truly flourish.

The first issue (besides the whole ‘you killed my father’) is that feelings for the same sex is against the law, punishable by being branded a sodomite and imprisoned in New Bedlam, an island prison. There’s also the problem that Robin is ‘The Toyman,’ who has created mechanical killing machines for The Society, enemies of the empire. Oh, and did I mention Robin is also a wanted man? Drama!!

Marcus soon discovers while nursing Robin back to health that things aren’t what they seem. Spoiler Alert: Robin isn’t a mad scientist. Turns out, he was creating contraptions that help the sick and disabled, like prosthetics to help people to walk and see. Through their growing friendship, Marcus learns that Robin was taken by The Society at fourteen. They twisted his devices with the intent on bringing down the Queens Empire. And now, Robin is filled with guilt for his part in the revolution. These revelations make Robin skeptical of Marcus’ kindness, I mean, the man should hate him. Grant it, Marcus is hot, but could he actually care for Robin?

Can they push through their doubts and issues? Can their blossoming friendship, their slow courtship turn into true love? Read it to find out!

So if you’re looking for a fun, quick Steampunk story, Clockwork Tangerine is for you. I had a fun time reading this type of story. The only thing that stopped this from being 5/5 stars, was the length. I know, I know, I just said that I picked it cause it was short. But now I want more. I want to know more about Robin and Marcus. I even want to know more about The Society. Call me greedy if you want, I’m just trying to get the people what they want.

If I don’t do this—if I don’t spend my life listening to you, breathing you in…waking up next to you, then I’ve lost everything. That is what I am risking—a life without the man who makes me feel alive.

4.5/5 stars

~Eddie

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